Tuesday, June 5, 2007
Interlude
There are millions of people with billions of opinions about others in this world... should i care? People may think whatever they want of me... should i base my personality on that? Should i try to be someone who i really am not just because others have that opinion of me? I don't want live my life trying to live someone else's life... the only expectations i work for are myself... no one and nothing else matters... People may think of me as sweet, smart, arrogant, foolish, a flirt, a funny person, a temperamental fool ,a sport, or any of the countless adjectives used to describe others... do i care? HELL NO! I AM WHAT I AM...
Sunday, May 27, 2007
This is my Journey....
They said one in 60 get into IIT; they said its the toughest exam on earth; they said the odds are against you, you won't make it. You go ahead with your plans thinking they're wrong, trying to have confidence in yourself, and believing that nothing can defeat you. Fresh from the break after the boards, you feel you have a good idea what u want to do with your life, eager to change the world and make a difference, your mind full of idealogical beliefs that you believe will govern your life. Eager to make it and make it big, you think you can face any hurdle without wavering.
You arrive in school , the teachers welcome you and you feel that now its just a matter of time before you taste success. And it is just then... that infinitesimal yet defining moment that changes you...unfortunately for the worse.
You begin school confident that your school preparation and IIT coaching will blend and complement each other, and it does for some time. But sooner or later reality begins to dawn on you. You find yourself trapped in between the growing workload of school and the mounting pressure to make it through IIT. Then, disaster strikes.
You find yourself dazed and confused in all the maddening rush that surrounds you. Applying to the student council, participating in extra-co-curricular activities and the startling indifference of the teachers begins to sink in. But at this point, the days of you wanting to change the world are not far behind. You still feel that if you work hard you will definitely attain success. It is this feeling that stays with you for a year or so before you realize that the brimming level of enthusiasm you once had is now parched, the world u sought out to conquer is now playing with you, like the game between the puppet and the puppet master... and you feel a sense of betrayal. You feel that god somehow betrayed you, teased you to take this path and just as the time came to cross the river, left you drowning in the gushing flow of water. Add to it all the taunts that teachers constantly give on failure... whether on being provoked or due to something happening in their personal lives, none of it withstanding, you feel lost and fed up with life. The choice of being with friends or giving preference to studies lies heavily on you.
It is at such times that experimentation starts, just to get away from it all. People may say what they like, but what i wanna know is, can you blame him? Teachers always just wanting their work done, without bothering even remotely what the kid is going through. We all realize that its our last year in school, we all want to make the most of them, leave back cherished memories to remember for the rest of our lives....
But instead what everyone, and in particular, what society demands from you is to stay buried in your books. It makes no difference to them whether your last memories of school are a blur or painful.... society will only recognise you if you are rich and successful.
So where does it leave that energetic and ideological part of you that wanted to make a difference in this world? It is still there....damned but not forgotten...still believing in God... and leading the way in its own unique way.... inspite of all thats going around you. It is not dead and God forbid, never will be.... but its upto us to resurrect and revive that small little part that believes that we can still make it. Its doesn't matter what people say and think, whether they label you as a rebel or a freak, but what matters is what you want from your life and how you are going to get it....Inspite of how bad things may get, I will never stop believing in destiny, God and life.
You arrive in school , the teachers welcome you and you feel that now its just a matter of time before you taste success. And it is just then... that infinitesimal yet defining moment that changes you...unfortunately for the worse.
You begin school confident that your school preparation and IIT coaching will blend and complement each other, and it does for some time. But sooner or later reality begins to dawn on you. You find yourself trapped in between the growing workload of school and the mounting pressure to make it through IIT. Then, disaster strikes.
You find yourself dazed and confused in all the maddening rush that surrounds you. Applying to the student council, participating in extra-co-curricular activities and the startling indifference of the teachers begins to sink in. But at this point, the days of you wanting to change the world are not far behind. You still feel that if you work hard you will definitely attain success. It is this feeling that stays with you for a year or so before you realize that the brimming level of enthusiasm you once had is now parched, the world u sought out to conquer is now playing with you, like the game between the puppet and the puppet master... and you feel a sense of betrayal. You feel that god somehow betrayed you, teased you to take this path and just as the time came to cross the river, left you drowning in the gushing flow of water. Add to it all the taunts that teachers constantly give on failure... whether on being provoked or due to something happening in their personal lives, none of it withstanding, you feel lost and fed up with life. The choice of being with friends or giving preference to studies lies heavily on you.
It is at such times that experimentation starts, just to get away from it all. People may say what they like, but what i wanna know is, can you blame him? Teachers always just wanting their work done, without bothering even remotely what the kid is going through. We all realize that its our last year in school, we all want to make the most of them, leave back cherished memories to remember for the rest of our lives....
But instead what everyone, and in particular, what society demands from you is to stay buried in your books. It makes no difference to them whether your last memories of school are a blur or painful.... society will only recognise you if you are rich and successful.
So where does it leave that energetic and ideological part of you that wanted to make a difference in this world? It is still there....damned but not forgotten...still believing in God... and leading the way in its own unique way.... inspite of all thats going around you. It is not dead and God forbid, never will be.... but its upto us to resurrect and revive that small little part that believes that we can still make it. Its doesn't matter what people say and think, whether they label you as a rebel or a freak, but what matters is what you want from your life and how you are going to get it....Inspite of how bad things may get, I will never stop believing in destiny, God and life.
Introduction
Hello. This is my first blog. I created this blog after my friend anu was after my life to create one. I told her that even though i would make it, i would never write anything, but such is the persistence of that bubbly(she hates this word!) babe(she hates this too!), that i ended up promising her that i would write after my dce paper. So the dce is over and i'm free! and here i am writing some nonsense that u have to bear with. After weeks of thinking what i would want to share on the net, i suddenly remembered the one and only time when i left every thing that i was supposed to do and decided to write something... it was midway during my preparations for iit and the entrances, and the pressure of both school and fiitjee was getting to me... so frustrated i'd become that I chucked my books indefinitely and wrote... with anger... about what i was going through... the writing spell lasted for 2.5 hrs or so. But the crucial aspect was that by the time i was almost thru wid it , i had written some REALLY negative stuff, but soon i cut it out and gave it a positive end... and somehow when i read it now, i think it made all the difference...
So Here goes, my copying that entry verbatim.
So Here goes, my copying that entry verbatim.
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